Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Warning: Lots of washroom "anal"ogies...

Success! I just shat wonderfully!

In a perfect world, it would be the only thing to report, but sadly, there is more to my life than taking craps, and the washroom is probably the place with the least amount of shit!

So what's new then? Well...I didn't sleep well last night, I almost destroyed my back yesterday by shoveling the white shit (sometimes also known as "snow") outside for an hour and by playing with my little sister (She's soon to be 6, the greatest little girl ever!), here's a picture, maybe a year and a half old but it's a cute one...

We went to play again outside tonight, we had fun and it helped change my mind...It wanders a little too much right now, and it usually always end up back to one subject...Ex-Girlfriend! Well, I won't call her like that, and I won't use her name since I don't even use mine(Why? Maybe because I know myself?)! I still want to be respectful so I'll call her...Hmmm, let's see...How should I call her? Champs-Élysées!?! That will be her nickname, I think she'd like it if she ever end up reading my shit.

So C-É (I'll keep it short most of the time...) is in my mind today. Well, it's my fault, I called yesterday to tell her I won't need her mom to look for my treeplanting shovel at her Ontarian home, since it was at my mom's, and to remind her not to forget to send all the mail at my dad's home. Of course, I went offtrack a little and ended up thinking about her and everything for most of the night (this and the backpain was not the best sleeping cocktail).

Got an e-mail from her this afternoon, nothing actually bad, but of course I had to over-analyze everything and got upset. I called back, we talked for what? Maybe 30 minutes about stuff we already talked about and just ended up feeling more shitty than anything. So what with it? Did I feel better? No! Did she? Probably not! Did it change anything? Of course not! It was completely useless and destructive. Those discussions always end up messing with you anyway, because you dig in the shit to dig a shitter...

So Tupper, what did you learn today? My little sister doesn't understand the sentence "I'm exhausted!" yet!

That's great, but in regards to your "shitty" theme of the day? Oh, yes, right! Humm, well, take some perspective on it, let the dirt come back down, no calling or writing or telegraphing C-É...

Leaving everything behind to go at the other end of the country won't help if I don't change my mindset, but at least if I can change my surroundings and keep my mind occupied by something else...I don't know! Shit man!

What I know is, I'm not ready to deny my feelings, but I can't deny she did so with hers, or she got rid of them slowly or whatever! So I have to accept that, put my feelings somewhere (maybe on a blog!), and leave them there for now. Given the right conditions, with some water and sun (and maybe talking once in a while), the feelings might stay alive or grow, if they are abandonned or don't want to be taken care of, well, the feelings will die and disappear...or maybe, with luck, they might survive! To put an end to gardening references, my feelings are like a cactus: It hurts, but it can survive a long time without care!

I read my blogpage subtitle yesterday and realized that saying "I used to be a liar" might lead some people to think I'm bullshitting here. Here are the reason why it's not the case:

-I would be a total dumbass (I'm an asshole, not a dumbass...) to lie about the stuff I wrote here. This is mostly loser stuff, so lying about it would mean what? Do you really expect me to answer this?

-While, as said before, I appreciate the "possible readership" and one of the reason I blog is to update my friends while being away, I'm mostly writing this blog for myself, as I did many times before on various forms (writing on myself was the worst...Couldn't keep tracks of events), so it would mean I'm lying to myself. While I admit I did that before, I don't feel it would really help me now and it wouldn't go with my whole concept of changing and getting kicked in the ass!

-I wrote "I used to be a liar", past tense...I'll try to keep it that way. Until now, complete success! Yeah!

So, trying to change the subject, I have dumb friends who fought with me all day long last Sunday trying to convince me that roosters can impregnate hens by their yelling...They sounded pretty serious and got me to fight with them and even had to find proof of chicken mating. I know they were joking but they held their position and kept their seriousness. They never kept it before! And I bit it completely! Guess I'm taking everything too seriously right now, they proved it by the way they got me! Thanks guys! (But don't write to me saying that rooster thing is true, and no chicken poo jokes!)

A postcard from the wonderful Metropolis of Toronto (how to "nail" a crazy guy):


Have to go, lots of stuff to get ready for the big trip. A little more than 2 days before leaving for Banff!

Tomorrow: Lessons learned from using crap as an analogy in a blog!

EDIT: I wanted to talk about the International Women's Day all day, but completely forgot while writing my post (I know, I suck and my timing does too!). I just wanted to say that I look forward to the day when those kind of days won't be necessary anymore. Of course, for now, this day is necessary everywhere, even in the most "advanced" countries, and there is a lot of work to be done. This day is necessary to think about our actions, our mentalities, our ways. But all the other days of the year are there for us to act upon what came out, what was thought, said, felt today. In the hope that, one day, equality will be such a taken that sexism, racism and other forms of intolerance will make those "days" and those words obsolete.


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