Don't try, you're not part of my life
I came to an interesting conclusion this weekend: The cool girl I just met is not for me.
Yeah, it looked for a little bit like I could have some interest for a girl. It was true.
But despite a nice facade, the interior is quite fade.
I don't mean it in a mean way, it's just not my taste. You might say I could do something about it. True enough. But it would need a lot of efforts, and there's some stuff you can't correct without busting through the walls, and I'm not willing to do that. I hate people trying to change others, and messing up with someone to get them closer to what you want is, I think, a proof that there's something wrong with the relationship, and with your expectations. Look somewhere else, there'll be place where both you're heart and your dick will feel right at home.
Why the house allegory? Simply because a person you might be interested in is almost just like a house. People that say that what counts is what you are inside are right, but not completely. When you buy a house, you'll live inside, and what should guide your choice are the features you'll find in there. But you have to notice the exterior, to be attracted enough to be drawn inside.
I got in, did the tour. There was a few things worth the look, but the whole didn't feel right. Took me a while to notice the flaws in the construction, had to go back a few times before signing the contract.
And I decided to abstain myself.
I need more than what she can offer me. Yeah, I can hear some friends telling me: "Wait Tup, you barely know her!"
But I always had strong instincts, and I usually ignore them when it comes to girls. Recently, I have been a little more aware of those little signs, and it allowed me to get away from failures faster and faster. And I've been a decent observer enough of human attitudes, demeanor and speech to note subtle hints of future problems. I saw enough to realize it would eventually crash big time.
Like what? First level conversations, teenager-level love relationship, not the same sense of humour...at all, limited open-mindness, limited attention-span, limited life experience, potential guilt when it comes to sexuality...
Sex, no matter how you look at it, is VERY important in any relationship. As my friend J-S put it, an okay relationship with great sex had better chances on the long run than a great love relationship with poor sex. And we don't fit at all.
Or as Futurama's Philip J. Fry puts it in the episode "The Deep South":
Leela: Fry, are you alright? What happened?
Amy: What about Umbriel?
Fry: Well, it turns out I loved her, but I wasn't in love with her.
Amy: (whispering) Trouble in bed.
And that's why I'm against keeping yourself for marriage.
Okay, it looks like I had a really bad time. Not really, those signs are subtle...yet. When I put together all the little hints, it draws a pretty damn good picture. I get what it says, and I don't like it.
So better stop it now than let this slip out of control.
She'll find a buyer. I'll find a house. I'm in no rush, I have a tent.
Time to call the owner...