Image in the Sand

Today is picture day. Enjoy and you are authorized to laugh:



The Housekeeping Department French Connection. There's a few people missing(Stéphane, Steven, Valérie), but here they are, from left to right: Caroline, Mélissa, Francis(with Caro's finger in his ear), Patrick, Rémi, me, Jérôme, Tania, Étienne, Tanya and Éliane.



Rémi in the office, Do Not Disturb. My version of that pic was just too ugly for this blog.



Okay, I promised myself never to self-censor, here it is, dammit!



Tania, Steven, Mél and Stéph at the Aurora Night Club.



Tania, Valérie and me...smiling a little too close to the camera.



Steven (Stiti) enjoying the tobacco machine. Him and me might have wasted 30 minutes playing with the candy and tobacco machines, not putting any money in, just pressing buttons and being utterly fascinated. Yeah, we were drunk.



A group picture taken a few weeks ago...Don't remember the names...Just kidding, in the usual order: Stiti, me, intimate with Pat, Jérôme's ex(I don't remember her name, didn't work with us), Rémi, Thomas the real French guy, Jérôme down there with his huge hicky, Stéph, Frank, Val and Mél.



My room's picture wall, mostly pics you saw at one time or the other on this blog.



Here are the duct taped Docs I talked about a few posts ago. They are holding pretty nicely



Marie and Isabelle.



Isa waking up, messing with my cam.



No comment...really, I won't comment on that. Why should I? there is nothing I can say about this picture, I probably wouldn't be able to even write one sentence about it, imagine elaborating. Really, don't bother. But it does remind me of
Jay from Kevin Smith's various movies.

That's it for me, time to go get the paper version of those pics at the photo lab.

A good ol' relationship rant

Fuck relationships!

Just kidding...but almost. Here's the situation, I've been seeing that girl I work and live with for the last 2 weeks (Yes, it's a new one...again). Seeing is almost too heavy of a word, or unprecise, but I'm not sure there would be a precise word. Basically, let's just say we are, as a friend would call it, "modern friends" (there is another expression that comes to my mind, but it's a little vulgar and again, unprecise). So, the situation is that I don't care and don't want the obligations that would come with a relationship. She's in the same place so until now, no worries. She's actually doing whatever possible to make sure we don't look, or mostly aren't being seen as "together", which is fine with me, I actually even find her efforts entertaining. The problem is that we live and work with the same people and now, everybody knows. Again, I don't care about that either, I don't care being protrayed as anything as long as I'm at ease with what's happening. The problem is that now, more and more often, she will "need" me, try to be close to me and , well, get in my space at the worst moments (read: when I'm writing, not this post, but my "serious writing"). Don't get me wrong, the girl's great, cute, funny and all. I just can't go there. The thing is, she also doesn't want anything serious but still needs somebody to fill the affection void in her life...So she's in that messed moment of a young adult girl where she wants both the excitement and possibilities of being single and the affection and reliability that comes with a relationship. She's attracted by both and therefore acts paradoxally evry 20 minutes. It reminds me of my ex, which was exactly like that at the beginning of our relationship. The difference is, this time, I don't need somebody, I don't want a relationship. Not now, I can't, I have too much to do, in too many places. Also, I'm her boss and it does, sometimes(like this morning) affect the work relationship when she's starts arguing or questionning everything. At least she's not as bad as her best friend.

Which brings me to relationship rant #2: Amy, the ex-girlfriend that keeps popping out at the very moment when, every time, I think I won't get news from her anymore. Really, it takes a little longer each time for her to reply, and it's always when I'm thinking: "This time, she won't write back" that she finally does. And every time, it's one of those paradoxal emails. I mean, yeah, I do like paradoxes, it also seems to be a main theme in my life, but I would like some people to act a little differently, sometimes. How are you supposed to react to somebody who's telling you she has been thinking about you a lot in recent times and feels nostalgic, but that will go on the next paragraph talking about her future wedding and how happy she is? Isn't she in doubt, isn't she messed up? Does she fucking knows what she wants? It's basically what happened with the last mail...again! Mah, I'll let go, what can I do. Anyway, even if I wanted her to be clearer on her thoughts or intentions, it would take two months to get a reply, which would probably need follow up, which would mean finishing talking about that topic by the time she'll give birth to her second child or something.

It's so easy to be alone, and yes, it is nice. My plans cannot be altered, cancelled, delayed or fucked up with by anyone except me. (NOTE: This statement is subject to change at any moment, without further notice in the event that "Love" is found...Hehehe)

(interlude)

I had to interrupt the post because Valérie, the subject of the first rant came in the office and kind of changed my mind about the whole thing...Not completely, but I'm in a better mood now. Let's just say that she found a new meaning to our "job relationship"...

I hate when my lower brain thinks for the other one.

Another thing useful I learned while planting trees:

-Duct tape can be used in any situation. I just used black duct tape to close the huge holes in my doc's...Their is no shoe repair store neither in Banff or Canmore, which means I will have to go to Calgary, 120 KM away to repair those boots. Might as well buy new ones!

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,14 (No 13, we're in a hotel!)

I hate it when there is so much and yet so little to say.

Mostly when you live a life that is a really strange mix of novelty and routine. You know, the same stuff at work, going out on the same nights, to the same places. But then, all the little details are different. I said it before, people, in Banff, will change all the time. Right now, at work and home, there is only the "fixtures", Stéphane, Rémi and me, plus Adam, a mostly unseen bellman and Skip, the 50-something deaf man that only lives in his room or at the Pump and Tap (He's our laundry guy and has a great sense of humour. He used to be a Curling champion). Everybody elses is on the rotation rooster, some will probably stay longer but most will leave around Christmas to go back to school, their family, their "regular" lifes.

Weirdly, despite not having any other life, I also feel like I'm not living my "regular" one. I'm barely waiting, having a great time while at it, but nothing permanent. Change is inevitable, moving on, away, to something else. Sometimes it's almost like a prison term, the routine, not getting out of that small town for months at the time. Isolated. Knowing everybody, every story. At the same time, as said, it's always different and I can't really say I'm in jail when I have freedom of movement and easy access to the other sex. And true, there is nobody with a shotgun following me everywhere!

Still, this is not my life. My life isn't in Montreal anymore, or yet. What sounds the most like a future life that would interest me right now is a weird image of me in those settings:













Map

Those images are from a Québec group of islands off in the St-Lawrence Gulf, the Îles-de-la-Madeleine or Magdalen Islands. I would love to live there for a year, just working and writing, not being disturbed by anything and inspired by the same nothingness that fills every square meter of land and sea to make that place a dream location. And those gigantic beaches on both sides of a road when the tide is low...Man! There is even a small English-speaking communitiy on Île d'Entrée of 400 inhabitants (They have only one phone for the whole island!). The sea would also be a great change of settings from the mountain or the forest (Have you seen, there is no trees!!!).

Until then, I'm waiting for treeplanting, which will be my real life for up to 5 months next year. I strangely can't wait to get back in the bush, again that paradoxal feeling, that "love and hate" thing that seems to follow everything I do and everywhere I go. Treeplanting is fun in hell, that's for sure!

Here's a few things I learned while planting trees that serves me in my everyday, "unregular" life:

-Candies will make anybody smile and work harder.

-You can work much more than you think, for longer periods of time and under the hardest of conditions, but you have to want to.

-Motivation and ambition are personal qualities quite hard to get and maintain to a peak level. But they'll make all the differences in the world between a success and a failure.

-A good meal and a doobie will help you forget almost everything.

-Living, working, eating, partying and sleeping with the same people all the time needs a lot of energy. But what you'll get out of it is better than friends. It's family. After sharing so much, those people cannot not understand you or what you're going through. I love my friends.

-Nature, trees, lake, mountains and great blue skies are as important to your mental health as are your friends.

-Shitting in the woods sucks (I actually don't rely on that knowledge that often here...)

-Partying is great, but do not excess excesses.

Okay, time to go back to the unusual routine.

In Banff, inevitably...

(Again, it's not only stuff I've experienced, but also things I've observed.)

-The first question somebody will ask you will be: "Do you ski or snowboard?"

-You'll see a newly arrived Quebecker that will hear you speak french and say: "Hey, you're a Quebecker!!!"...Everytime, everyday. They'll think you're an asshole for not being social...They'll get it later. You did it yourself.

-You'll come here with, among others, the intention of learning english, but you'll hang out only with Frenchies. If you had the luck of knowing enough english, you'll start losing it.

-You'll never be able to watch a movie you rented because of the 15 people in your Staff Accom living room that will comment on everything. You might be the one starting it.

-You'll become best buddy with somebody you barely know.

-When your best friends will leave town, they'll also leave your thoughts.

-You'll have sex with a stranger.

-You'll fall in love with somebody you barely know.

-When your love will leave town, she/he'll also leave your thoughts...maybe...She'll be on your MSN Messenger list, it doesn't mean you'll chat with her.

-A girl/guy that said didn't want anything serious will come back on her/his thoughts and make you reconsider your own "bachelorship" (B-4...You sunk my Bachelorship!)

-You'll buy alcohol directly at work, thanks to the hotel liquor store.

-You'll drink.

-You'll drink the day after.

-And the day after.

-You'll drink a lot.

-You'll do drugs.

-You'll spend as much money as you made, no matter how much or how little you made that week.

-You'll eat shit, or not eat at all to save for beer, drugs and cigarettes.

-You'll be having conversations with strangers, confessing deep shit and he/she'll do the same, only to realize both of you didn't listen.

-You'll forget about the mountains, get out of a building and be reminded.

-You'll pay too much for basically everything (except sex, Banff have a shitload of free sex...)

-You'll cheat death at least once (I might be pushing a little here, but it's true in my case).

-You won't get out of a small town for three months, only to get out three times in two days to get a RISK game.

-You won't find a RISK game in a 50km radius (Actually, you'll find all the possible versions except the classic one).

-You'll use the hotel's old 70's pickup truck that you just were authorized to drive to go get rid of the empty bottles and cans and then, why not, to go see for a RISK game again. You'll have more fun driving without power steering.

-You'll come back with Axis & Allies board game instead.

-You'll become a confidant, somebody people come to for their problems or to be listened because you're a little older and you actually listen (Most of the time).

-You'll become supervisor or even acting Head Housekeeper and one of the employees with the most seniority after only 5 months of work at the same place.

-You'll use your job's computer to blog because you're acting Head Housekeeper today. But you'll still do a great job.

-You'll love your time here, despite its (and your) flaws.

Time to go back to work.

Tupperfan's guide to win a fight:

Warning: Upon reading my post, I realized it was quite violent. Please take note that fighting should always be your last option, after negotiating, paying for a beer, offering to pay for dry-cleaning (always useful when you puked on somebody) and fleeing (yes, fleeing is usually a wise decision). Please also take note that showing your genitals/butt/middle finger or suggesting sex to the person you offended will in most cases have an immediate, negative reaction often called a "punch in the face".

If you're intelligent, you shouldn't even find yourself in situations where you have to talk or fight your way out. Also, this post is inspired by observation, not (recent) personnal action.

How to win a fight

In Banff: People being heavy drinkers up here, go for a hit in the liver. It will do the job quite nicely. Then, if needed, attack their balance.

Against Treeplanters: Usually, treeplanters are close to be in top shape. They also hang out in town in groups (It can go up to 60 people sometimes in a bar...). I might have a bias toward them but my advice would be to run: They usually have a great endurance but no resistance and they are not used to run on flat surfaces.

Against Oilsands Workers: Those guys are usually strong badass rednecks. But if you heard stories of Treeplanters/Oilsand Workers fights in Fort McMurray, I can tell you that you can knock the giants: Go for the sternum. If he's too fat for that, try to make him loose his balance, it's easier than you think, the fat ones roll easily.

Against 4 guys at the same time: Use everything that surrounds you, including your opponents to deflect each other's punches. Use clubs, sticks, the other guys bodies and throw as many efficient punches in sensitive areas as possible, as fast as possible. Your best option: Run as hell!

In Belgium: Belgian fights are crazy, avoid at any time unless you have TWO(2) packs of Bazooka gum. If so, read the jokes, they'll laugh (They are the only people on Earth genuinely laughing at those jokes), use the time to reach the Belgians weak spot: Their forearms. All you have to do then is to give them a hicky(sp?)

Okay, that's it for me, I'll try to come with other useful Youth Travel and Employment tricks in the near future.

Until then, keep out of trouble!

Going down in style!

Hey! I just quit the grocery job! Feels so good!!!

What's up here? Well, as usual, a lot and nothing. Apart from Remi, Stephane and me, everybody at work didn't work for the Voy for more than 4 weeks!!! And I saw Remi and Stephane being hired in late April. I have to say that the new bunch is great, well balanced between girls and guys (It wasn't the case before, we were a sausage club), great workers and fun people. A shitload of fun! I am now permanent Staff Accom Manager of the front house, the one mostly populated by girls, which means a cleaner house. When we want to party and get a place filthy, we go to the back. Works well with me, and I get free rent!

Been going out a lot more in the last week, mostly due to the fact that I was only working 16 hours at Keller's...Gave me more free time at night. We also went sliding on a really nice hill between Norquay and Cascade mountains. First time we didn't have any equipment nor good clotes. On the second night, I got myself a pretty cool outfit, as well as some top-notch sliding equipment...a cookie pan!!! Here's a pic:



We went around town to find decent stuff like Crazy Carpets or GTs(3-skis) but, you know, Banff being a mountian town, there was nothing like that anywhere! The Home Hardware guy said he would get some next week...Can't wait!

Me and Remi decided to go down the hill with a tobbogan and, well, you have to picture the hill at midnight, with not that much snow, which means a lot of rocks and wood...We were going downhill really fast and then, the tobbogan stopped...Not us. We rolled down the rest of the hill, while laughing and yelling ouch at the same time. Remi even rolled over me.

When we finally climbed back up after not finding the tobbogan, the others had a nice bonfire with beer and all. Remi and me decided to literally throw ourselves down again, this time just grabbing each other jacket and rolling down. Remi puked. Either from the beer or from the rolling or both. Great night!


That's it for me, time to go waste time elsewhere!